"MAY (you have many adventures.)"

Seoul tends to give me this feeling of utter bliss every once in a while.  I feel happy here all the time, but there are also days where it just exceeds happiness and I just feel pure goodness.  I don't know how else to explain the feeling. They say when you smile while alone, that's when you really mean it... you are truly happy.  I am truly happy.

May was a low key month for me, yet still wonderful regardless.  I have seen myself start to break away from people and I don't think it's for any given reason, other than the fact that I am really coming into my own here.  I honestly enjoy my alone time because it leaves me without restrictions.  If I go out exploring or wandering on my own, my mind and feet can take me wherever they wander.  It's often these times when I feel the most free. I enjoy my time sitting in cafes blogging (as I am now) or reading with an iced latte.  I am happy with what I do with myself and my time because I find it plenty fulfilling.  I go to boxing three times a week, teach five days a week, and explore (and sometimes party) on the weekends.  Sunday's are always my catch up days to lesson plan, clean, and do laundry.  I have continued to build good relationships with my Korean friends and my other foreign friends.... and so, I feel good.

May is Buddah's birthday, which is a national holiday in Korea.  There is a big festival with a parade, lantern festival, a lot of fun cultural things to experience, and a nice three day weekend! I attended the night parade with some of my girlfriends and then the day festival the following Sunday. The parade was the longest and most incredible parade I have ever seen.  Countless people marched through the streets with lanterns glowing in hues of orange, pink, red, purple, blue, and white. After the parade, there was a big concert where they released confetti into the night sky while the music played and people danced and frolicked .  It was actually incredible. Falling confetti has always had this strange affect of making me feel both lighthearted and invincible. The following day I spent the morning in Sinsa alone reading a book at a cafe, having lunch, and wondering around my favorite area of Seoul with my camera trying to capture everything. Later, after I had my fill of some "me time," I met Kimberly, Aileen, and Breanne at the Buddah festival.  We wandered around for hours, going to various tents, listening to, seeing, and trying some real Korean culture.  It was there, I planted a seed to cultivate happiness and I tied a prayer for my family and friends to an enormous balloon.  The balloon was swaying in the breeze while hundreds of people wrote prayers and wishes and tied them to the dangling strings. They would later be released into the sky.  I wrote my prayer and tied  it on. Something about this made me feel so complete and fulfilled. After the festival, we ended the night at a very unique traveling wine bar.  We all shared a bottle of wine and had some nice girl talk.  What a wonderful way to end a Sunday. A simple Sunday, and still, probably one of the best days I've had because it was filled with personal time, time shared with friends, unique cultural experiences, good conversation, and good places.

Basking in the falling confetti. Photo credit: Kimberly. ^^

This is my fan, hand painted, with my name written in Hangeul on it.

 Aileen dressed in traditional Korean clothing called Hanbok. 

Planting a seed for happiness.

My prayer for my friends, my parents, my siblings, and my grandparents. 

 Folding up my prayer and kissing it before I tie it up to the balloon string.

 Tying my prayer onto the balloon.

The hundreds of prayers and wishes attached to the giant balloon.

Wine bar with the girls.

Last weekend I went away to visit the East Sea at a beach called Sokcho.  It was a nice little getaway with my friends Kim and Grace.  I had my first jimbjilbang experience... which was quite interesting and yet, not as  strange as I thought it would be.  A jimbjilbang is like a spa but it is nothing like a spa in the US.  It's literal translation is "public bathhouse."  Basically, you pay 8,000 won, to shower in a public shower room, and sit in hot spas naked with other women. Then you can pay extra to get a body scrub and massage (which I did!). The body scrub experience was somewhat weird, as you literally just lay naked on a table in the middle of the room while an old lady scrubs all the dead skin off your body and then oils you up. After you are all clean, everyone finds a spot on the floor in the common room to sleep with a mat. Basically, it's a cheap alternative to staying in a hotel or hostel.  If you feel comfortable enough to be in a room naked with other woman and you don't mind sleeping on the floor surrounded by strangers, then it's something you may actually enjoy.  It sounds strange but it is something that's very popular in Korean culture.  At first, I thought being naked in front of everyone was weird but once you get past the initial shock, the awkwardness just somewhat fades away.  The fact that Korean women stare at you because you look different... well that's still a bit strange. Our last day Sokcho, some of our other friends from Seoul ended up coming out and meeting up with us.  Grace, Kim, and I went on a speed boat ride.  They literally just picked us up off the beach and took us for a fast and exhilarating spin! On Saturday night, me, Kim, Grace, James, and James rented these mini motorized bikes and had a blast driving around the bay for an hour.  It was such a random spur of the moment idea, but it seems in these moments you tend to have the most fun.  We rode around laughing and  driving off sidewalks and over hills and drag racing like we were five years old.  What a wonderful feeling is it to do things like this that make you feel young again. Sokcho= SUCCESS!

Motorized minibikes in Sokcho!

On the beach with the girls! <3

Grace, Kim and I came back to Seoul early on Sunday, although our friends spent the day on the beach there.  On Monday, I was lucky enough to have my first horseback riding experience in Korea.  I was convinced that I would have to spend a year away from horses, as it is a very uncommon thing in Korea.  However, my good friend Eunhee, has a special connection to the KRA facilities because her cousin is a jockey trainer.  The first horse I touched, I spent a good five minutes just standing at his stall stroking his face and coming quite close to tears.  It felt so good to be in a barn again and feeling a connection that I have missed very much.  The horse I rode was a big handsome thoroughbred who went by the name JaeJae.  He was amazing with a big stride but a comfortable ride, still.  I was able to ride around for about an hour and I just basked in how great it felt to be back in the saddle.  I was so happy to see how well taken care of the horses were. It was this day that I also made a great new friend.  Eunhea has a cousin who is the same age as me.  His name is AhnSung and he came along to the barn with us... and took pictures for me! He speaks English fairly well and I enjoy talking to him.  After riding, he and I ventured off into the city of Ilsan to have coffee and hang out together while everyone else stayed behind.  I had a really great day with him, drinking coffee, having ice cream, shooting Airsoft guns, and talking.   I am so glad to have made another new Korean friend.

He had such a beautiful face and spirit. I just wanted to capture the feeling shown in his eyes.

Handsome baby boy :)

 AhnSung and I at the horse farm!

AhnSung kicked my butt at shooting. His score 1400, my score 140... FAIL.

Me and JaeJae<3

Yesterday I spent the day with my Kimberly, which I always enjoy.  We went to Myeong-dong and went shopping, went to a dog cafe, and went out to Hongdae later at night. I have never experienced an animal cafe in the states, but they are very common here.  You pay 8,000 won to go in, get a table, and a drink of choice.  The dogs just walk around freely and play.  They give you a menu with all the dogs' names and you can just enjoy your drink and have some quality pet therapy time. It was such a fun experience. I had a little dog curled up in my lap and taking a nap while I sat and drank my coffee. It's nice to know that when you just want some animal time, you can go to a cafe for a small fee and get your fill.

Kimberly and her Puggggyy

Indigo!

Sleepy boys<3

...and so May has ended, and it was filled with many adventures, new experiences, good feelings, and good friends... let June commence!

" Stray away from the direct path.

Take risks.

Don't be afraid to make mistakes,

because it's from the mistakes that we learn

and it's from the mistakes that the really interesting things happen.

We may not always create or invent but we always learn when we try."

Teacher Stresses

I just need to exhale and get this off my chest. I feel really disappointed today. In the US, I pride myself in being a good teacher, but not just based on what I teach or how I teach, but because I also sincerely enjoy building relationships with my students. Here, the language barrier does not limit my abilities with teaching, but rather limits my ability to communicate with my students in order to build significant relationships with them.  I can see saddness on my students' faces often. I ask them, "are you okay?" or "sad?... why?.. SMILE!" I can use simple terms but they are unable to express to me what is bothering them.  It really bothers me because I feel like I am letting them slip through my fingers if I can not be there to pick them up when they need it. I have heard some stories about some of my students having bad home lives. I want to be there for them, and I want them to know that they can talk to me and I will comfort them... but with the language barrier, it's very difficult for them to express themselves to me.  It breaks my heart when I see them cry or if they are upset and I cannot talk to them about it.  I usually just bend down near their desk and ask if they are okay, rub their back and tell them to smile... but I want to be able to do more.  I wish I could figure out a way.

                                                 
                                                                I love them.

                      

Almost 3 months: new friends, new food, new heights.

I have now been in Korea for almost three months.  I cannot believe how fast time is going by.  I often think back to a year gone by in high school or college and I hope that this year does not pass me by as quickly.  I can say I am sincerely enjoying my time here.  I am taking advantage of all of the opportunities that lay in front of me.  I have been spending more time trying to learn Korean.  So far I have successfully taught myself how to read and write Hangul and as time passes, I find myself having the ability to read it more quickly.  Sang Won has been really good about teaching me some Korean phrase when we have free time during or after school.  We try to do language exchange together on occasion.  I can see his English improving slightly but I am not so sure about my Korean.  He is a good friend to me.

The past month I have made it a point to break away from just spending time with my foreigner friends and have made many Korean friends.  I spend a lot of time with Ga Ji Young, Unhee, and Sang Won.  The past two weeks we have had dinner together three or four times, and have seen two movies together.  I have also made friends with the music teacher.  Her name is Jung Hyo Young.  She is 29 Korean age and lives very near to me.  She speaks English very well, although I was not aware until recently, as many Koreans are shy to speak English with me.  We went for sushi together, shopping, and for coffee. I introduced her to Forever 21 for the first time (Yes, they have it in Korea and it’s 5 floors… way better than the US!). She told me that my English is very easy for her to understand and I make her feel comfortable, so I feel good about my communication with her.  Three weeks ago, I joined a boxing gym with my friend James.  There are two trainers, Kim Ji Young and Metin.  I have been getting to know them both very well. I talk to them every day and we have recently started going out and doing things together.  This Thursday they have a festival at their University and invited James and I to go with them. I think it will be a really fun night!  I really enjoy my time with them and look forward to seeing them three times a week at boxing.  I have also made a Korean friend named Bok Jun.  I really enjoy spending time with him.  We have seen each other many times the past week.  He is a Korea University student and is the same age as me. He speaks English very well and has many foreign friends.  One night we went on a hunt to find and a roof top to sit on at night… after about 5 attempts, we found an open one.  We sat there contently talking, listening to music, and cracked a beer together. It was a really great night.  We can talk easily and he understands western humor which is a plus! I think we understand each other very well and I am looking forward to spending more time with him.  I have to say, this has been the highlight of my past month. I have made so many new Korean friends.  It is nice because I get more exposure to Korean culture and language this way.  One of my new year’s resolutions for 2012 was to get to know someone completely different from myself so I think I’m getting close to checking that off the list.

 Ji Young and I, my coteacher, and Korean mother.<3 I love her.

                                         Sang Won and I at dinner.

I have had so many new experiences this past month.  I think this is due, in part, to many of my new and wonderful friends.  I saw my first Korean film, took a trip to Busan, and have experienced many strange Korean foods.  Ji Young, Unhee, and Sang Won took me to see my first Korean film. It was called 간죽학개론 and it was a love story.  This was such an interesting experience just due to the fact that there were no English subtitles so I had to pay attention and use the picture to determine what was going on. I actually ended-up loving the movie.  I think my coworkers were surprised by how well I really understood the story line.   The only problem was that I did not understand the funny parts when people laughed at the dialog, but it was still a great experience.   The past week I have tried many strange Korean foods that I actually thought I would never have the courage to try.  I have surprise myself in many ways! I ate 낙지 twice now (moving octopus) and 번데기 (silkworm pupa) as well as these small dried up fish… complete with eyeballs and scales.  I actually somewhat enjoyed the moving octopus just because the experience was insane.  We got to pick the octopus we wanted from a fish tank, Cameron held it and we got a picture, then, they cut it up and you dip it in a sauce and eat it while it’s still moving. It is quite a strange sensation.  You can feel it suction to your mouth and move while you eat it.  The silkworm pupa was quite disgusting.  The small fish are not terrible, but just not quite my thing.  Lastly, I took a trip to Busan with Aileen and Cameron. It was a short little getaway from the city, but well worth the trip. Busan is a beautiful beach city in South Korea (I believe the second or third largest city).  We didn’t do anything too extravagant while there… just explored the area, tried some new foods, and visited the beach. When it hits you that you are dipping your feet in the ocean on the other side of the world… it is quite exhilarating.  It was a great time with good friends. All in all, it has been a really eventful month.

                                             번데기 - silkworm pupa

                                      my first Korean film!<3


                                   Busan Pictures!
                                                     

                                  Incredibly beautiful Busan!

                                          Cameron with the octopus that we ate!

                          On the beach with Cam and Aileen in Busan!

                             Incredible roof top view of Busan.

If I think back on this month and I had to pick out one special moment it would be this: a self revelation.   I had a moment of pure happiness while venturing home from Busan.  It happens often here that I find myself smiling for no reason and just breathing in deep to the feeling of pure and utter happiness due to my newly found self dependence.  I have always been the type that needs to know when and where, how long, what time, etc… but, I believe Korea is making me more flexible and open.  I went to Busan last minute, and with no return ticket home.  Although I went with my friends, I decided to leave early on Sunday morning and they returned to Seoul later.  In the morning I packed up and set out on an adventure to find the bus station.  As I walked out of the building alone, I felt a surge or energy and bliss. There I stood with my mini rolling suitcase. I had no idea exactly how to get where I was going… no clue of the names of the places on the subway or their location. I could so easily get lost.  However, something about this journey felt so incredible to me.  I made my way, of course, and got to the bus station just fine.  As I sat there, waiting for my bus, I thought about how I was feeling.  Could it really be that I was experiencing a change in myself right at that moment?  I used to be the girl that didn’t like unfamiliar places, and being alone scared me.  Yet, there I was, waiting to get on a bus back to Seoul for a 4 hour bus ride home ALONE, in a different country, and where I don’t speak the language.  Instead of feeling anxiety, nervousness, or fear… I simply felt liberated.  And so I continue to have these life- changing moments and I have Korea to thank for that.

 The moment I had my good feeling moment... I captured it... (oh and my new haircut!)

"Sometimes I pray, sometimes I meditate, sometimes I float around like a cloud."

마곡사: (MA-GOK-SA) 

       This weekend I spent my time about four hours outside of Seoul at a Buddhist Temple, famous for it's original buildings and paintings.  I came to Korea in hopes of finding new ideas about life and how other's live it.  I must say, being in a temple for two days, and living the lifestyle of a monk, has definitely helped me to fulfill that want.  Doing a temple stay has not been the most exciting thing that I have done so far in Korea, in fact, it's probably one of the most boring.  However, I think sometimes, something that I need to realize, is that everything in life does not have to be a giant exciting adventure in order to sit high on your list of incredible moments.  I think something that I took from this experience is that, sometimes, it is okay to just BE, and appreciate the beauty in what surrounds you every day.  You do not need to climb a tall mountain, jump out of a plane, or mud wrestle to feel exhilarated. You can find solace in just your thoughts alone, if someone teaches you how to understand them. When asking a monk what he does every day at the temple, his response was as follows, "Sometimes I pray, sometimes I meditate, sometimes I float around like a cloud. Sometimes I am happy, and sometimes, I am sad." I will forever remember these words... simple, pure, and honest.

      We arrived at the temple around 2pm in the afternoon. We were given traditional clothing, which we quickly changed into, and made our way into a room where we sat with a monk and had tea with him.  I don't know what it was about this holy place or about being in the presence of a monk that was so exhilarating to me.  I suppose a monk is no different than a priest in my religion at home, yet, I could not help but wonder, why this experience felt so different.  I think to me, I see monks as such pure and spiritual beings.  Their focus is not solely on the idea of worshiping a higher being, but being in harmony with yourself, and the world around you.  True harmony based on the belief of reaching happiness and putting aside greed and other sufferings. He spoke so honestly.  He was both sincere and extremely humorous.  He made countless sarcastic jokes, keeping the moment light, while still answering all of our questions about the religion seriously. 

       We filled the majority of our time at the temple with meditation, prayer, meal times, some chores, and some walking around the temple.  On Sunday morning we were awoken at 3:30am in the morning for prayer.  We quickly arose and made our way to the main temple, where we then followed a chanting monk in circles around the outside of the temple.  This was one of my favorite moments.  It was before dusk, therefore, the moonlight was still guiding us, and I was the first person in line behind the monk.  As he lead us in circles around the temple, he hummed, struck a wooden instrument, and sang a Buddhist prayer, stopping twice at each mid point of the temple to bow.  As we followed behind him, hands in folded position, and bowing to the Buddha at the appropriate time, I could not help but feel worldly. I can not even begin to express what was going through my mind during all of this.  It was somewhere on the spectrum between being breathlessly astonished to being in some sort of disbelief of where I was and what was occurring. After he completed the prayer walk, he lead us inside the temple, where we knelt, bowed, and followed the prayers of three monks. Aside from not knowing what to do or say, I basked in the beauty of the religion I did not know, and how devote they were.

        Meditation was quite different than I had expected.  We were told how to sit, and how to breathe, as well as what to think of.  In my experience, meditation has always been about clearing your mind of any thoughts and reaching a point of complete peace and relaxation.  Buddhists seem to meditate in order to attain an understanding for life, life's sufferings, and what we are here for.  Before the monk struck his wooden wand three times as an indication that the meditation had begun, he instructed us to focus on who we are, where we came from, and where we are going.  As we sat in silence he paced the room, making sure that no one was sleeping.  Fifty minutes of meditation goes by so slow when you are sitting in complete silence and darkness... however, if the rain was good for anything this weekend, it was a nice accent during this time.  I can't say I got very far with my meditation, however.  I didn't feel what I was hoping to feel. My mind wandered from there to Timbuktu.  I think I need to practice.

        Aside for tea time with a monk, my two favorite parts of the temple stay were doing 108 prostrations (bows) and making our own prayer beads.  We all knew going into this that we would have to do 108 consecutive bows and pretty much every one of us were worried about this portion of the stay.  The bows require you to go from standing position to having 5 points on the ground (two knees, two elbows, and forehead) and then back to standing position. The entire movement from standing to floor to standing again is one full bow.  We had to do this 108 times continuously.  Each bow had a purpose in lowering your heart and washing away your soul from the impurities.  With each bow, we were lowering ourselves to the ground, and as we did this as we were ridding ourselves of the sufferings of within our soul (jealous, hatred, greed, anger, resentment) and filling ourselves with peace.  Each bow was for a reason, for example: "I bow to be diligent in my efforts to improve myself. I bow to be thankful for the hard times I have had because they have made me strong. I bow for the times I have used angry words towards others.  I bow for the times I have taken my parents for granted.  I bow for the times I have failed to be thankful to all those who help to provide my shelter. I bow for the people who are working in bad conditions.  I bow for the people who work to provide me with healthy food.  I bow to have a generous mind, even if I do not have enough for myself.  I bow for the precious lives of all the children in the world.  I bow for the times I have taken things for granted.  I bow for the times I have used slander to hurt others.  I bow for humility so that I can always put others first."  Although doing 108 bows in a row was strenuous, I really appreciated this part of my visit. I truly thought about what each bow meant, and how it pertained to me and I felt more at peace when it was over.  I also really enjoyed making prayer beads.  The prayer beads has 108 beads on it and can be used as a tool for counting when you are doing your 108 bows.  The monk also told us to keep it with us always and when we are feeling overcome by suffering to use the prayer beads. It is a symbol of the perfect you.  As we made the beads we were told to envision ourselves building a perfect model of ourselves where our hearts are lowered and we are at peace with ourselves and the world.  When we need a reminder of ourselves in that perfect state, we can reflect with the prayer beads.  It is a circle and represents us and our lives as a circle, continuously changing and accepting what life brings to us.

Although the rain was quite a buzz kill for the weekend, and I had to wake up at ridiculous hours, do some chores, and eat yucky vegetarian food, I have a new found appreciation  and respect for the Buddhist religion, as well as those who practice it.  I have to say, I am enlightened just to know that there are people in this world who strive for peace and happiness in this way.  It is truly amazing.

                                              Magoksa Temple

                               This is where the monks ring the bell before each meal time.

            <3 the monk who shared tea and conversation with us. he was an inspiration.

                                       Inside the temple... three Buddha's.

                                 My prayer beads, a true treasure.

           

one fine day.

It's been a while and so I suppose it's about that time.  Tonight, as I arrived home at 11:00pm on a Monday night, I decided that my day had left me feeling too content and light to just go to bed without reflecting on it... and my "Iced Americano" has left me too awake.

Moments. We all have them.  Moments of random happiness, inspiration, sadness, realization, contentment. Today I had a million moments. An exaggeration, maybe, but a well deserved one.  Today was probably one of the most beautiful days in Seoul that I have experienced since moving into my apartment. Today, I truly FELT spring.  Everything about it was wonderful.  The sun was shining, the window hung open beside me at work, my desktop orchid basked in the glowing sun, and I was well suited for it in my new spring dress.  I am always happy to see my students' faces on Monday morning. It might be the start of a new work week, but they make it worth it.  I couldn't help but smile each time a new period began and I greeted my students with "Isn't it BEAUTIFUL outside today!"  I received a lot of responses... from blank stares, to "Teacher NO.. I don't like the sun."

At 1:40pm, when my last class left my room... all I could do was sit and contemplate a nice long walk and wonder which direction the city would take me.  At 4:40pm, I was out the doors and on my way through city streets, tall city buildings, and rays of sunshine.  I walked for two hours from Wolgye Station to Myeonmok Station..

It was there where I finally met up with some friends, Aileen and Cameron.  Korean BBQ and Baskin Robins... pretty typical for the three of us.  It was what happened after that really took me to a happy place.  We started walking, originally to locate and purchase some strawberries at a locate market, yet somehow ended up blowing bubbles in the city streets, making small Korean children smile, conversing with a local drunken bubble loving old Korean man, and inspiring everyone in the park to purchase bubbles of their own.

In passing, I caught a glimpse of some sword and light saber shaped bubble rods... a must have, I told my friends.  I made my way into the store to make the purchase as the Korean women behind the counter giggled at the three of us relentlessly.  No time wasted, we popped those bad boys open and went right to it on the sidewalk outside the store.  From twirls to full on struts up and down the sidewalk, we danced about and played.  Koreans walked by, either staring at us blankly or simply smiling (two younger guys offered to take our picture).  As we decided to take it across the street to the park, where it seemed less distracting and more free... we were bombarded by a drunken Korean man who wanted to take part in our shenanigans. He attempted to speak a slur of Korean to me just before taking the wand out of my hand and playing with us.  As he made bubbles, he laughed, asked where we were from, flung the wand around while making goofy gestures,  and then went on with his night.  He was kind and fun and really made our night much more entertaining.  At the same time, Aileen noticed a little girl behind her dancing in the bubbles while smiling back and forth at her mother and the bubbles floating around her.  While we waited for the green walking man to cross the street, we blew some bubbles for her and then made our way over to the small park. Just before the little girl ran off, Aileen caught her and gave her bubble wand to her.  She was thrilled, as was Aileen, as she watched her play, knowing that she took part in the smile on her face.  Again, people walked by... smiling or just passing on with their night.  We continued playing, while the small children around us started to join in.  A small boy, about four years old ran circles around us popping our bubbles and dancing in them.  As I bent down to let him try to blow some himself, I saw his face light up, and he ran back to his mother giggling like a happy clam.  Cameron on the other hand had a slightly older crowd of middle school girls in uniforms watching him.  As Aileen and I prompted him to turn and blow bubbles for them, they cheered and blushed. On and on and on it went... we were making people smile. As we continued, we started to notice something... bubbles... coming from other directions.  We started a trend, an inspiration you might say.  People around us had gone to the store across the street and purchased bubbles of their own. As we stopped and noticed what was going on, a feeling of amazement just enveloped my body.  What a wonderful thing that was happening right before our eyes.  I walked over and gave my bubbles to the four year old as his mother thanked me and urged him to, smiles on both of their faces.  I stopped and looked around before we decided to move on.  The little girl, the four year old boy, the middle school girls, and the parents who were watching over their children... simple and pure enjoyment brought on by soapy water. Could it be? In a world where the young grow up too fast and the old forget what it feels like to be young... we sparked a bubble movement. On we went with our evening... as I walked away from the park and we left our bubble rods to others, I felt pure happiness.... and what a wonderful feeling it was. Mission accomplished.

"You are never too old to be young... and maybe sometimes we just need to play so that we don't forget that."<3