Rachel Teacher: What did you do yesterday?
Student with English name, Obama: I winner election!
Whole class: WOW! Congratulations!
Rachel Teacher: hahahahahha! GO OBAMA!
A student has a ball we use for classroom activities tucked inside his jacket.
Rachel Teacher: Give me the ball, please.
Student: (throws the ball back to me)
Rachel Teacher: (throws the ball to another student)
Student: OH MY GOD, TEACHER... MY BABY! OH NO!
A student walks up to the front of the room to answer a question using the touch screen (one piece of his hair is sticking up in a peculiar way).
A bunch of students begin laughing.
Rachel Teacher: Why are you laughing?
Student: Teacher, Hector's hair is... WIFI!
Hector: It's beautiful.
Rachel Teacher: Which prediction did you choose? A, B, or C?
Student: B.
Rachel Teacher: Okay. Can you read B for me?
Student: B.
Rachel Teacher: No.. I mean ACTUALLY read B.
Student: I did. B.
Rachel Teacher: READ THE SENTENCE!
Rachel Teacher: Today we are going to sing a song.
Student: Today we are... teacher, no thanks-uh.
Rachel Teacher: How often do you wash your hands?
Student 1: I wash my hands once a year!
Rachel Teacher: ONCE A YEAR?! Are you sure?
Student 1: Yes.
Student 2: Dirty boy!!
Student 3: Don't touchy me!
Student: Rachel Teacha... I haveeee-uh GIRLFRIEND-uh!
Rachel Teacher: Really? Who?
Student: Her name is LADY GAGA!
Rachel Teacher: (laughing) Really? Lady Gaga?
Student: YESSS-uh! We eat steak and also drink the wine in restaurant!
(fast forward to the next day)
Rachel Teacher: How is your girlfriend?
Student: Girlfriend is NO. She kicked to me.
Rachel Teacher: Really? That's too bad!
Student: Now my best is-uhhhh... ROMNEY!
Rachel Teacher: (staring blankly) Where do you learn these things!?
Student: LADY GAGA!
No students want to volunteer to do a dialog role play. Naturally, I bribe them with candy.
Rachel Teacher: I will give you candy?!?! (flashes the goods)
(Just about every students' hand shoots up)
Student 1: Beautiful teacher, pick me!
Student 2: Wonderful, beautiful teacher, I love you.
Student 3: Amazing spider man teacher, give-uh me the candiessss!
Student 4: NO! Rachel Teacher, wolverine! Wolverine teacha, wolverine teacha!
Student 5: Show me the money!
Rachel Teacher: (laughing uncontrollably)
Student: Rachel Teacher, are you married?
Rachel Teacher: No.
Student: I LOVEEEEEE Rachel Teacher! Do you have a boyfriend?
Rachel Teacher: do your work...
Student: Teacher!!!... I LOVE YOU!
Student: (pointing to another student) Dan is CASANOVA!
Rachel Teacher: Why? Dan has many many girlfriends?
Student: No, Dan is many many gay.
Three students pick up a package in my classroom that my sister sent me from home.
Student 1: (sniffing the box) WOW! Smell is AMERICA! America smell, America smell!
Student 2 & 3: Begin sniffing the box.
Rachel Teacher: (observing and laughing in the corner)
Rachel Teacher: Do you want $10 US dollars or this candy? (showing him BOTH)
Student: (yelling) CANDYYYYY!!!
Rachel Teacher: Are you crazy? With ten dollars you can buy many candies!
Student: TEACHA... GIVE ME THE CANDY!!!!!!!!
During ball toss, pass and say..
Student 1 throws the ball to Student 2 and hits him in the head..
The WHOLE class all at once: HEAD SHOT!!!!!!
One student drops his pencil case and it burst open all over the floor.
All at once the whole class yells: UNBELIEVABLE!
Rachel Teacher: How old is Rachel Teacher?
Student: 145!
During a chant song about directions:
Song: Where is the bank, where is the bank? Go straight and turn left.
Students: (repeating...)
Song: Where is the school, where is the school?
Student 1: (screaming as though he can't take it anymore) I DON'T KNOW!!!!!!!
Rachel Teacher: What will you do this weekend?
Student: I will DATE with Rachel Teacher. Do you like date?
Rachel Teacher: Sorry, Rachel Teacher only dates Wolverine.
Rachel Teacher: Good morning!
Students: Good morning!
Rachel Teacher: How are you today?
Students: How are you today?
Rachel Teacher: Don't repeat.
Students: Don't repeat.
Rachel Teacher: I smell bad.
Students: I smell bad.
Rachel Teacher: I am stupid.
Students: I am stuuuupiiidddddd???...TEACHER, OH MY GOD!!! (laughing)
Rachel Teacher: I win!
Rachel Teacher: If you steal my candies again, I will eat your fingers.
Student: OH MY GOD.
Student: Wow. Rachel Teacher... hair.. shiny... very good! K-pop.
WIN.
Student: Teacha's face is very small today... but eyes, SO BIG!
Not sure? Somewhere between a win and a lose.
Student: Teacha, eyes... circles. Very dark.
LOSE.
Rachel Teacher: Have you ever been to Seoul Zoo?
Students stare at me with wide eyes and look around at each other.
Rachel Teacher: WHAT?
Students: Teacher... SOJU!?!?
Rachel Teacher: OH MY GOD! NO! Seoul ZOO... you know.. THE POLAR BEARS LIVE THERE!
During a lesson on rooms of the house:
Rachel Teacher: What's in the bedroom?
Student 1: The bed is in the bedroom.
Rachel Teacher: Good. Where is the stove??
Students: It's in the kitchen!
Rachel Teacher: Good.. and where is Rachel Teacher?
Student 1: In the bathroom! (student's start laughing)
Rachel Teacher: (can't help but laugh) IN THE CLASSROOM!!!
Over time my students have learned what "chill out" means and how to use it in context since I frequently use the term when they get a little wacky.
Student 1: Teacher, he is writing no. Looks like worm.
Student 2: No, mine is like butterfly.
Rachel Teacher: Butterfly... like Rachel Teacher!
Student 2: Teacha, why?
Rachel Teacher: Because I am soooooooooo beautiful!
Student 1: Teacher... CHILL OUT!
Rachel Teacher: (laughing)
After first snow..
Enter two students with an actual snowman: Teacher, this is for you. SNOWMAN!
Rachel Teacher: Woww, very cool! Ummm... I think it might melt?
Students: Yes, here is a tissue.
LOL
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